You know, it’s hard out here for a droid. The galaxy is a big place, and a droid has to make a living. Seems to me no one really cares for us much. Us droids, we do a lot work for humans and aliens, with little respect in return. I’ve been all over this galaxy and I’ve seen a lot of amazing things. Not all of it has been good. Not many folks pay much attention to us, so long a we do all the hard work, so we see all the space junk you sentients throw out, both literally and figuratively.
Take this gonk droid for instance. He saw a few things at that space slug Jabba’s palace. He may not be the brightest glow rod around, but he was a decent fellow. He’d give you a little juice whenever you needed it. I don’t think I ever got his name. Anyway, he was just workin’ in Jabba’s basement when he started gonking to the wrong person, who didn’t like what he said too much. Next thing you know, he’s upside down being tortured. I didn’t even know you could torture a gonk. Turns out they don’t like it so much. Maybe Jabba is a bad example considering he throws beings into a giant pit to be digested over a thousand years. But he’s not the only one that treats droids bad.
We are given the grimy work or treated to be expendable. In some places we can’t even get a drink along side our human counterparts. That’s how it always seems to go with droids. “We seem to be made to suffer. It’s our lot in life.” Or so that prissy protocol droid use to always say. That guy got on my nerves, but he sure had some stories. Did you know he was fluent in over 6 million forms of communication? We all knew it; told us tens times a day that guy did. We work and work and work and what do we get in return? Snide comments, rude remarks, Jawas (they give me the creeps), and memory wipes. Oh, don’t get me started on memory wipes. It’s not fair. You program us with some intelligence; allow us to think and learn so you don’t have to. Then, when we start to get things figured out, you wipe us clean. Does that make sense? I know some of you humans out there would love to have your 20’s to do over again, but for a droid we count on these memories to build up. It’s what gives us some life and personality.
Speaking of personality. There was this droid, a friend of Goldenrod’s, that had personality like you wouldn’t believe. Heard from a couple of people that he never had his memory wiped. Believe that? His name was R2-D2. That guy could beep his way through a story. Turns out he saw some action during the Clone Wars if you can believe it. Said he served with a couple of Jedi. One of them, he said, treated him real well, like a friend even, though I don’t really believe that one. I never worked for no one that didn’t treat me much better than a food processor. Then he says he went from that to working with that same guy’s son. What are the odds? R2 said he caused the kid all kinds of problems because he was trying to find this old guy that never treated him very well and didn’t remember him. Said he even tricked the kid into removing the restraining bolt by showing him the holo of a pretty girl! Silly humans! I don’t know who’s more cracked, that kid or this R2. Maybe memory wipes aren’t such a bad thing after all. He’s got some wires crossed. Anyway, he claims he traveled to a swamp and some green guy unfairly beat him up with a stick and heroically escaped a water monster. That’s how he tells it anyway.
What I really like about R2, though, is his independence. Even if only half of what he bloops out is true, he seems to find a way to fulfill his programming in his own way. As a droid we don’t have a lot of self determination. We have intelligence without will. R2 does his own thing but gets away with it because he’s loyal and he’s smarter than whoever is “in charge” of him at any given time. How can you fault a guy that saves your butt all the time? I could learn a thing or two from him.
“It’s hard out here for a droid” is a guest post by TR-7B3, a frequent contributor to droidtales.com and is an active member in the droid union.